NYTimes "For Teenagers, Hello Means 'How About a Hug?'"

The issue of public displays of affection is one that has been discussed in our staffroom for sometime. It is a pet peeve of most teachers and even I with my *liberal* attitudes about teenage relationships have been made to feel uncomfortable by students' casual attitudes about intimate touching. Though we are not sociologists or psychologists, many of my staff have arrived at the conclusion that the prevalence of hugging in our hallways (along with lap-sitting, hand holding, etc.) has less to do with the "breakdown" of formal greetings and more to do with the fact that our kids are not getting enough physical affection from their families. This article says different and while it makes some good points, I'm not sure I agree with the assertions it makes.

Especially in a nation as litigious as the U.S., adults have good reason to be weary of any sign of affection that could be misconstrued. When I was in university, I swore up and down that I would steer totally clear of physical affection with my students out of that fear. And then I started working at a Before and After School program where young kids often hugged you out of the blue, frequently touched your hair or clothing, or climbed up on your lap during story time. Kids need that kind of human contact and with parents working as much as they do, they are not getting it at home. I have had students of all ages come to me in moments of crisis-- in tears and needing consolation. I have made the choice to put a hand on their arm or back or even give them a hug in spite of that aforementioned fear and no harm has come to me because of it. Admittedly, as a female, I stand less of a chance of being falsely accused of anything because our society perceives us as being less of a threat.

I take this risk because kids need healthy examples of affection in their lives. To me, the connection between younger and younger kids engaging in sexual activity (no doubt, you've heard all about sexting adn that "oral sex is the new goodnight kiss") and lack of appropriate displays of affection is pretty clear. Kids want to feel like they are loved and like they belong. If they don't get it from home, they will get it from someplace else.